Great Headline

Scrolling through news feeds today, I came across what may be the best headline I've ever read:

Delta Plugs Hole With Former Krispy Kreme Chief

The story, which you can read here, was less interesting. I much preferred the story that immediately formed in my mind:

Delta flight x was saved from disaster today, thanks to a quick-thinking flight attendant and a former Krispy Kreme executive.

According to passengers on the flight, they felt a loud thud, and a sudden drop in pressure. Somehow, a hole had been punched through the wall of the passenger cabin, just near John Doe, a former executive at Krispy Kreme.

Although nearly everyone on the plane panicked, flight attendant, Jane Smith, kept her cool, grabbed Doe out of his seat, and stuffed him into the hole. His considerable soft mass was able to seal the hole long enough for the plane to make an emergency landing.

Doe is currently recovering from minor injuries sustained from the event, but says that he is glad to have helped.

Smith has faced mixed reactions of praise from the passengers and their families, and criticism from the NAFP (National Association of Fat People).

"While we appreciate what she did for the people on the plane, we believe she chose Mr. Doe specifically for his weight," said Glutius Maximus, head of NAFP. "We believe this constitutes discrimination against a fat person."

Investigators have not yet discovered the cause of the hole's appearance.